(Women’s Special) GLOBOSEXUAL OF THE MONTH: Alexa Joy Sherman and Nicole Tocantins PART II

 

Nicole Tocantis and Alexa Joy Sherman, authors of The Happy Hook-up: A Single Girl’s Guide to Casual Sex.

Nicole Tocantis and Alexa Joy Sherman, authors of The Happy Hook-up: A Single Girl’s Guide to Casual Sex.

 Enjoy the second part of this month’s Globosexual of the Month where we feature the first-ever females to be nominated for the title, Alexa Joy Sherman and Nicole Tocantis, authors of The Happy Hook-up: A Single Girl’s Guide to Casual Sex.Read Part I here.

– JD

 

Do you think women who have casual sex are sluts?

NICOLE: If they are, then proudly I am.

ALEXA: It depends on how often they have it and your definition of slut. I’ve certainly called myself a slut in the past-but never with any shame or remorse. I kind of thought it was something worth bragging about. Bear in mind, though, I didn’t start doing it until my twenties and most of my experiences were 100 percent enjoyable.

Should every woman try casual sex/hooking-up/sleeping around/having booty calls at least once?

ALEXA: No. That’s a decision each person has to make for herself. If I said everyone should try it, that would make me an extremist…and I have no interest in forcing my (former) lifestyle or ideologies on anyone else. To each her own. If it’s something she wants to try and she thinks it through, absolutely. If it’s something she can’t ever see herself doing, more power to her for staying true to her own wants, needs and ideals.

NICOLE: No No No!! It’s so personal. You need to know if you can really handle it. I know that for me I couldn’t do it in my early twenties without regret. I could go in for the sex, and then wait for the call till disappointment hit. Until I really knew myself and was okay with it being MY choice, MY experience and pleasing me, I was a mess.

What would you say are some of the most important things girls should keep in mind when having casual sex?

ALEXA: PROTECT YOURSELF. I’m not just talking about condoms, which should be used every single time. I’m talking about selecting your partner carefully, doing the deed in a location where you feel comfortable, only doing things that feel comfortable, and not getting so emotionally invested in the situation that it becomes more than just a casual encounter. (And yes, HOW to do all this is covered in the book.)

NICOLE: Definitely. Know yourself. Before your encounter, try to really know if you will be OK with you the next day. And BE SAFE in every way possible.

 

What do you think about the double standards in regards to men and women and hooking up?

ALEXA: What double standards? I thought our book did away with those. In all seriousness, I rarely felt the double standard in my own life and I feel like it’s becoming a lot less pronounced. Isn’t it? (I’ve been out of the game for a while, you know?).

NICOLE: Slowly, with our help and yours, they will be a thing of the past. It’s already not as taboo as it used to be. There will always be people who judge, but it’s about personal choices and if they don’t like it don’t subscribe.

What do you think of Sex and the City? Do you think the show helped women be more sexually liberated? If so, how and why?

ALEXA: I hated the book. I loved the first few seasons of the TV show (after that, I got tired of the bad puns although I still loved the storylines). I haven’t seen the movie. I do think the TV show inspired women to embrace and explore their sexuality-possibly in ways they hadn’t done since the sixties and seventies. They suddenly realized there was more to the fairy tale than just the happy ending/prince charming at the end-that it was about the journey as much as the destination (cliché, I know, but it’s true). That’s why I think we wanted to write this book. We wanted to let women know that you can enjoy sex for the sheer sake of sex, you can have it and keep having it-whether or not the right guy comes along in the final act.

NICOLE: Not a huge fan towards the end of the series, but I think the important thing that the show did was say was what works for one woman may not work for another.  The ladies all had different needs and through time they experimented and learned what their priorities were. But tying it up in a neat lil’ package was annoying.

 

Do you feel you are sexually liberated? If so, when do you think you became sexually liberated and what prompted it?

NICOLE: I was a late bloomer and spent my early sexual years confused and feeling emotionally hurt. It wasn’t until my late twenties, and I am not sure what changed me, that I was able to let go and be ok with being with someone and walking away without strings. Does that make me liberated? I have a daughter now and boy do I have a lot to teach her!

ALEXA: I think I’m bipolar on this (and pretty much everything else in my life). I grew up in a very liberated home, the daughter of two biologists (mum is English, dad is from New York, both were biologists), where sex was openly discussed. But I was pretty closed-minded (courtesy of a whole host of insecurities) throughout my adolescence and early adulthood. When I moved to Hollywood, started working in the music industry and finally got laid, hell yes…liberation city, baby. I think I was always liberal in most ways…but having sex and working in a world where absolutely anything goes? You just have to open your mind (and, ahem, your legs!).

 

What other countries have you been to/lived in?

ALEXA: I lived in England for a year when I was really young, in Ireland for a year of college, and I’ve visited Australia, France, Italy, Thailand, Canada, China, Fiji and Mexico.

Nicole: I lived in Brazil my Junior year of High School (still a virgin) and have been to England, Ireland (a nice hookup at my brother’s wedding with a red haired Irish lad) and Mexico.

 

How many different nationalities have you slept with? Which one was the best and why?

ALEXA: British, Irish and American. Shockingly enough, there are a handful (so to speak) of Americans who top the best-played list. But Ireland and the U.K. were definitely, um, up there too.

NICOLE: I didn’t know there would be math involved in this interview! Let’s see…five. My Aussie skydive coach! Young and wow, good golly HOT!! He would get me started on the way down to the ground, under the chute, in mid air…  and make me wait the rest of the day for the rest. He went from drop zone to drop zone every few months. So when he was here it was very very hot and then “bye bye” until next time. Eventually there was no more next time, but I remember him fondly.

Describe your perfect hook-up situation.

ALEXA: The perfect hook-ups for me were always out in some smoky bar, just drunk enough (but not so drunk I didn’t know what I was doing), meeting a random-but-reasonably attractive stranger (NEVER go for perfection or someone you already know-it only leaves you wanting more), going back to his place, having great sex and being able to leave whenever I felt I was done with the situation. There were times when I liked taking the guy back to my place, going at it all night in the comfort of my own home and even having a little follow-up session the next morning…but it was always a bit of a challenge to get rid of them after that. I think-even if you’re dealing with them living in a pile of shit with multiple roommates-going to their place is often better, if only because you can call it quits whenever you like.

NICOLE: See above.

What’s the steamiest text or phone message you’ve ever received from a booty call to get you to go over?
ALEXA: I don’t think I ever fell for an actual message. If I let a call go to voicemail, it was because I wasn’t interested. I was always the kind of person who answered the phone when I knew who it was and what they wanted…if I wanted it too, of course.
NICOLE: Never bought the booty call message thing. But I once flew to Vegas with a guy who I had a phone relationship with for a hot night of sex.

 

If you know someone who would make the perfect candidate for Globosexual of the Month, please send your suggestions to globosexuals@googlemail.com.

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: